Forgiveness is complete when you don’t bring it up to them, don’t bring it up to others, and don’t bring it up to yourself. – Dave Ferguson (@DaveFerguson)
Leaders in every company make bad decisions at one time or another, and most of these decisions affect people. It’s not too hard to find advice on how to “deal” with bad bosses and bad situations, but that advice is often lacking one key concept that might do most of us the most good: Forgiveness. That’s why I think this quote is so meaningful. Let’s break it down:
Forgiveness is complete when you…
Don’t bring it up to them: Isn’t it amazing how our memory increases 1,000 times when it comes to remembering other people’s hurtful words or dumb decisions? If we know the person really well, we often make it a point to not let them forget their mistakes. Is that really the example we want to set for our teammates? Once you’ve settled the issue and forgiven the person, let it go. And if you haven’t had the opportunity to settle the issue, you still need to forgive the person and let it go.
Don’t bring it up to others: For those of us who avoid face-to-face confrontations with people who’ve offended us, we often find comfort in telling others about how we’ve been wronged. The problem with this is that it doesn’t do anything to resolve the situation; instead, it just muddies it up and makes our problems others’ problems. Unless you’re seeking advice from a trusted and mature friend, it’s probably best to keep the situation to yourself.
Don’t bring it up to yourself: Of course this is the hardest one! Even after we’ve spoken our forgiveness, it’s still so hard to keep yourself from “going there” in your own head. Yet, true forgiveness means we’ve let it go; we don’t harbor any ill feelings even deep, deep down.
Do you have someone you need to completely forgive?