Who do you need to forgive? I don’t mean just saying, “I’m over it.” I mean real forgiveness. Who changes your heart for the worse when you think of or have to deal with them? Who are you fighting inwardly?
At one time or another, we’ll all have to deal with someone who we wish would become invisible to us, or at the very least become someone we could like, love, or trust once again.
Maybe you’re dealing with that right now. Maybe you’ve been wronged, misunderstood, or violated. Maybe the other person thinks they are the innocent party. (more…)
If you want to be a good leader you have to realize that it is all about the numbers. Producing the numbers is more important than anything else in business. Most of my clients will be astonished with this point of view. Let me be clear: A leader who cannot produce the numbers will not be successful taking a company into the future. (more…)
“Without mindful awareness, the shadows of your past may haunt your present.”
– Multiple attributions, including Reuben Lowe and John Reyes
What a truthful statement! Do you know people who allow the shadows of their past haunt their present?
We guard ourselves because of a former boss who was untrustworthy. We are skeptical of new teammates’ motives because of one self-centered coworker at our last job. We are wary of our company’s leadership because of the poor leaders at a former employer.
We let one lousy boss, one bad company, one really disappointing experience shadow every potential friendship, team, or employer moving forward. We can’t really enjoy the present because we’re too busy lamenting the past. If that sounds like you (and I’ve been there myself!), here are four tips for moving forward without the past hanging over you. (more…)
Forgiveness is complete when you don’t bring it up to them, don’t bring it up to others, and don’t bring it up to yourself. – Dave Ferguson (@DaveFerguson)
Leaders in every company make bad decisions at one time or another, and most of these decisions affect people. It’s not too hard to find advice on how to “deal” with bad bosses and bad situations, but that advice is often lacking one key concept that might do most of us the most good: Forgiveness. That’s why I think this quote is so meaningful. Let’s break it down:
Forgiveness is complete when you…
Don’t bring it up to them: Isn’t it amazing how our memory increases 1,000 times when it comes to remembering other people’s hurtful words or dumb decisions? If we know the person really well, we often make it a point to not let them forget their mistakes. Is that really the example we want to set for our teammates? Once you’ve settled the issue and forgiven the person, let it go. And if you haven’t had the opportunity to settle the issue, you still need to forgive the person and let it go.
Don’t bring it up to others: For those of us who avoid face-to-face confrontations with people who’ve offended us, we often find comfort in telling others about how we’ve been wronged. The problem with this is that it doesn’t do anything to resolve the situation; instead, it just muddies it up and makes our problems others’ problems. Unless you’re seeking advice from a trusted and mature friend, it’s probably best to keep the situation to yourself.
Don’t bring it up to yourself: Of course this is the hardest one! Even after we’ve spoken our forgiveness, it’s still so hard to keep yourself from “going there” in your own head. Yet, true forgiveness means we’ve let it go; we don’t harbor any ill feelings even deep, deep down.
Do you have someone you need to completely forgive?